The Search for More Catnip!
by Desert Moxie Go Mark IX
Summary: An Inside Joke almost turns out to be a disaster in Valkrum Dunes! Read! Review! Enjoy! I don't own FFXI!


**Inside joke on my Server: Unicorn. The reality of the fight is a bit askewed but I took the creative liberty to make it more enjoyable. No names have been changed. **

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**The MaverickAngels star in:** _The Search for more Catnip!_**  
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It was a wonder how an oasis can form in a desert. There would never be any rain and yet there were still palm trees swaying in the hot breeze that floated in from the faraway sea. Many adventurer's set a path through these Dunes, even establishing a waypoint, before they headed into a more habitable climate. To those that stayed in the Vulkrum Dunes, it was more out of beginner's strength to test the limits of their jobs until they were able to settle into Jeuno.

Or it was just to find rare goods that the monsters held in their stomachs or shells. Usually these goods would be sold for gil, making any Adventurer happy that day, or the items were just for a small time quest that a resident of a city or town was too busy to be able to spend time looking.

It was just the case today, a linkshell member decided to go out and create a party with a couple of friends in the dunes. Although to be able to stand the blows, they needed a strong and valiant Paladin…

…who would only work for catnip…

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"Salt rock, parchment, dagger."

Three voices said in unison as three fists slammed into the owner's palms.

"Damnit!"

"Hehe, sorry Nickster," The Red Mage, Alesha, grinned at her unlucky friend, "It's better anyways for a person with more defense to pull."

"Yeah, it was bad enough with any Goblin chasing my tail." Nickster sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair, his wyvern resting on his shoulder.

Bria, the party's Blue Mage, clapped the Dragoon on the back, "Just make sure to wipe off any Ode de Gob before you search, alright?"

Nickster scowled at the remarks but didn't take them to heart, they were best friends. It was just a small mishap on the way to meet up with them in the Vulkrum Dunes. They had needed an extra set of steel, and he just happened to be nearby and was called upon (or begged, but there is no accurate information) to join. Nickster cursed his good nature attitude as it led him into the desert and straight into a Goblin defined as a Butcher. It took him a while and a hearty set of legs to run away from the beast before he could catch his breath and join the group. The teasing was a bonus.

"Lesse…" the Dragoon looked around, raising a hand to shield the sun from his eyes, "If I were a Mithra, which monster would I attack that drops catnip."

There wasn't much of a choice anyway. A ways away, there were a couple of Goblins that were chasing one of their own. It seems a Goblin Gambler got the best of a few and had to make a run for it before he was toast. They passed a sleeping sheep, known not to really take active until it was cooler outside since their wool coats were a bit too heavy.

Suddenly, Nickster's Wyvern chirped, and pecked at his hair.

"What? What is it?" He asked as the weight from his shoulder was lifted when his pet took off. "H-Hey! Come back!"

Scrambling off after it, Nickster saw that it crested the next dune over and stopped, hovering in midair. He reluctantly climbed to the top, shaking out sand from his shoes in the process, and gasped when he looked up.

What a lagoon!

Nickster's Wyvern chirped again and landed on the ground next to him.

"Wow, good job." He breathed, "Remind me to give you a saltine when we get back."

His wyvern disagreed and bit his kneecap.

"Ow! Alright! Alright! I'll give you a friggin' piece of jerky. Spoiled brat…" He mumbled the last part under his breath and headed towards the water.

The lagoon wasn't new it seemed. There already were a few people there, relaxing in the waves that slowly came cruising in. A couple of palm tree swayed and the smell of the air became that much more enjoyable. A shout to the side alerted him as someone had caught a fish, and with the help of that person's friends, reeled it in with a laugh of how small it looked compared to their efforts. Nickster's gaze turned towards the middle of the water where he could see a couple of species swimming around. Pugils and Snippers, as they were called in the Dunes, either scuttled or swam through the crystal lake.

Nickster smiled, "You think one of these might have something for Miraa?"

The Wyvern agreed.

"Cool, let's get this party started."

The Dragoon sprinted forward, unhooking his trusty spear and setting it straight with his arm while his other limb pumped for acceleration. Spotting a Snipper digging around in the sand, Nickster gave two short whistle bursts to signal to his pet that he had selected something. The Wyvern understood and propelling forward, flew right up behind Nickster's running legs.

"I think it's time for a Category Five Jump!" He said and hopped slightly in the air from one foot. The Wyvern swooped underneath, let Nickster land on his back and, with the combined efforts, the Wyvern was able to launch his master incredibly high into the air.

"Whoo hoo!"

Nickster pulled off a double summersault before twisting his arm around so that he gripped the pole with both of his hand and had the spear pointed downwards. The decent was quick and swift, the power of the Dragoon Jump unmatchable. The Snipper only realizing too late what had landed upon it.

_THOOM!_

A shockwave rippled the beach as a cloud of sand and dust was kicked up. The lounging Adventurer's looked over at the commotion to see a Dragoon running out of a could of debris with a crab chasing after him, his wyvern not far behind. Some smirked as others rolled their eyes, this was a busy spot for both kinds of Adventurer's to come anyways. It was unusual for a Dragoon to pull since they would leave small craters in the ground where they had been.

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"You think we should send a search party?" Atavus, the White Mage, asked. He was a bit nervous hearing no sight or sound from Nickster in some time.

Bria and Miraa, the Paladin, were crossing swords with mock duels to pass time while Alesha sat on the ground, with her legs crossed and her head resting in her hand.

"He's fine. The Dunes may not be the best place to get anything but at least it's home to some catnip for Miraa." Alesha sighed.

At hearing one of her favorite words (Waffles being another), Miraa perked her ears up and diverted her attention to Atavus.

"Did we find any-"

_WHACK!_

_THUD!_

"Ohhhh damn."

"Bria!" Alesha jumped to her feet, "What was that for!"

"Hey, it was an accident! She got distracted…" The Elvaan rubbed the back of her neck in an apology. She didn't intend to hit Miraa with her blade (luckily it was the flat of it) but that Mithra would get too distracted too easily when there was something she liked going on.

"Well, hurry up and revive her or something!" Alesha threw her hands up in the air in a panic.

"But, I'm a Blue Mage. I don't do resurrection."

Alesha then whirled on their other party member. "Atavus!"

Atavus jumped from where he was. Not necessarily new but not a veteran, the White Mage was a little jumpy at first when it came to something he wasn't used to...and he wasn't used to fallen Paladins.

"Y-yeah?" He responded.

"Raise her!"

"B-but I'm not that talented to get tha-"

"DO IT!"

"Um…Alesha…" Bria interrupted the little fiasco and tapped the Red Mage on the shoulder.

"Wha-" The Hume looked at the finger pointed over her shoulder and followed its direction. Off in the distance, but not too far away, was the visible sight of Nickster and his Wyvern running towards them with a little surprise in tow.

"Oh Altana…" Alesha brandished her sword, "Bria, how do you feel about being a Tank?"

"Not too good but I'll try." The elvaan took a few steps back and held out her hands. With concentration, she summoned a silver-like aura for a few moments before dropping her hands and walking to the front, ready for the crab.

Nickster skidded in right behind her and huffed, "What…happened?"

"Our Paladin is taking a nap. It seems we should have gotten the catnip sooner, eh?" Bria gave a sideways grin.

"Oh…well tha-WHAT!" Nickster yelled.

"No time to explain, just fight! Blind!" Alesha curled up her fist and formed a sort of smokey mist in her palm. Once the spell reached its zenith, she hurled it forward, smacking the crab in the face.

It only phased it for a few moments, but you could tell it worked. The Snipper was having a harder time discerning which direction to go.

Bria saw her chance and raced forward, thrusting her sword at the crab but only scratching its hard shell.

"Damnit!" She jumped back as the crab swung one of its massive claws at her legs, hoping to do more damage to her than she had to it.

"We have to attack at a center point, if we go around and hit wherever we want to, it won't die!" Bria grunted and parried another swiping attack.

The crab seemed to learn from its mistakes. Using one of its claws to thrust at the Blue Mage's legs, it twisted its body around so that it used the other to clamp onto the sword as the elvaan swung down. Using this advantage, it stabbed at her knee, causing the fighter to yell out in pain. It lunged again to attack but was stopped as a spear tip thrust itself in the side in front of it. The force of the weapon caused the crab to let go of the sword and scuttle back a few paces.

Atavus gulped. He wasn't that brave but he had a job to do. Holding his two hands to his side, he started to collect the elements of light around him, molding them into a pure spell. When he knew he had enough, he directed his energies towards Bria, creating the spell to wrap around herself and heal her wound.

Bria glanced back and gave a half salute to the White Mage before lifting her sword for another attack.

"Alesha, do you have any ideas?"

Alesha ignored the question for a moment, wrapping her own hand around an element. "Aero!"

Pierces of air shot forward and away from her palm, spiking the ground around and the crab and injuring it itself when it got hit. However, the wind was relatively weak today, and the damage was only minimal.

Alesha grit her teeth and gave the crab a quick scan, "Go for the top of its shell! Where the two sides meet! If we can force it open, it's a goner."

Deflecting another blow, Bria locked eyes with Nickster as he nodded in agreement.

"Alesha, wait just a few more moments. Argh!" The Snipper caught the wrist of her off hand. Nickster's Wyvern swooped down past her to distract the crab while using its sharp claws to render the rest of the crab eyeless.

"You guys! Don't get hit too much! I don't have that much energy left to cure." Atavus said as he healed the bleeding wrist.

"It's alright Atavus; you're doing a good job! I'll take over if you get tired." Alesha said as she started another spell. "How long are you two going to keep us waiting?"

"Only a few more seconds!" Nickster yelled as he swung with fury and created a sizable crack in the shell. "Ha! You ready Bria?"

The Blue Mage grinned knowingly, "Born ready!"

With a quick side step, Bria held back her sword. A small shimmer started to collect around its edges as her latent adrenaline was pouring into her magic reserves. The crab turned to face her, only to see a fiery sword clash down on its back.

"Burning Blade!" The blade smashed onto the crack Nickster had created earlier. The crab's eyes bulged at the force of the swing and was pushed down into the sand.

"Thunder Thrust!" Holding the spear back in a javelin like manner, Nickster threw his spear at the back of the crab, its tip leaving a trail of crackling energy.

The two points clashed and for a split second, nothing happened. The silence was broken, however, when a quick spark connected the two and burst forth with a raging intensity. The two attacks had caused a Fusion elemental bond to be created. The Snipper could feel its shell cracking with the weight of both weapons and the strain of magic ripping through it.

_Kirk-crack!_

The shell broke in two, leaving the body helpless.

"Who wants Crab Kabobs?" Bria said as she thrust her sword into the belly of the Snipper, ending its showdown with the party.

Atavus gave a loud sigh of relief and sat down on the oasis grass, "Let's never do that again without Miraa, okay?"

Alesha sheathed her sword and nodded, "We'll just have to wait until she-Urk!"

Startled, she looked down at her stomach to see a dull blade tip poking through her armor.

"Oh…that's not good."

"Alesha!" Atavus cried out and started to hastily grab the light particle around him. The Goblin Butcher grunted and decided that that wasn't a good idea. Pulling its sword out of the Hume, it turned on the White Mage.

"Tha-that's a good goblin. I _love_ goblins! They're so nice and- eep!" With enough time to spread his legs, the Goblin sliced down into the sand, missing the limbs. "You guys, I need HELP!"

"Don't worry Atavus, we got this!" Nickster said as he prepared another jump, "Bria! Power Attack!"

"Ha!" Bria forced the rest of her magic into her arms, and held her sword with two hands, "How do you like me now, Gobbie!" She retorted and swung down with all of her power.

Amazingly it wasn't enough. With a quick hand, the Butcher raised his own sword and deflected the strike. The Power Attack smacked harmlessly into the ground, but left the wielder wide open. Bria stared wide-eyed at the Goblin. It eyed her before thrusting its own attack into her side.

"Augh! Damnit Altana!" The piercing wasn't as effective since her armor blocked most of the blow. That didn't mean it didn't go through. The blade sliced just below her ribcage and sent her to the ground. Bria cursed her luck. With that last attack, she didn't have enough energy to cast a healing spell on herself.

"Poison!" Alesha forced her hand in front of her, causing a haze around the Goblin, turning the air around it foul and diseased.

That wasn't enough either. The mask the Goblin Butcher wore was able to clear out any infectious air around it. The spell was null and void. It did notice, though, that her injury had been healed and she was up and ready to fight. No doubt the White Mage had a hand in this. The Goblin turned his attention on the Red Mage, ready to strike out at her.

_Wha-THOOM!_

Alesha and Atavus shielded their eyes at the cloud of sand that rose up in front of them. It took a few moments for the dust to settle but when they looked back, it was a sight to see.

Nickster was basically still striking from midair. His whole body was suspended above the goblin, trying to out-muscle the monster that had clearly blocked the attack. The two pushed and growled at each other, the Wyvern flew around the Butcher's head, trying to peck at its soft spots.

The goblin then shifted its weight to one leg and, instead of directing all of its force above, it created a new outlet, pushing its sword to the side and having Nickster tumble to the ground. The Wyvern saw its spot and lashed out with its claws on an unprotected part of the goblin's arm. It didn't make him any nicer.

Snatched the Wyvern by its neck, the Butcher pierced the wing of the dragon, causing it to screech and limp along the ground.

"No! Altana smite you!" Nickster cursed and stumbled forward in a half-skilled attack. The Butcher paid no mind and slashed at his legs, letting the Dragoon cry out in his own pain.

"Atavus." The White Mage looked up from his position to Alesha. He was scared stiff at what was happening. They didn't teach him this back in Bastok! "Atavus, when I give the signal, I want you to run, okay?"

"B-But what about you guys! I can't leave you here!"

"Atavus there isn't a choice! Ergh!" Alesha yelled at him while deflecting a swipe. "I want you to run as far away as you can. Get to Selbina and find somebody to help us! Ya! Run Atavus!"

Atavus scrambled to his feet, just in time to see the Butcher strike down Alesha in the side, similar to Bria earlier. His mind racing with panic, the mage turned and started to run, knowing that the goblin would be on top of him if he ever stopped to rest.

"Altana, if there was ever a need for a miracle here, I need it! I promise never to ask for anything else again!" He prayed but his distraction cost him. While he was looking up in the sky for a sign of survival, he failed to see the palm tree that stood in his way. He smacked it and smacked it hard, creating a nose bleed and a dazed mage on the ground.

After it took a few moments to regain composure, the sky suddenly turning into a funny shape…and smelled awfully bad too. The goblin peered down at the White Mage who stiffened when he noticed who was above him. The fright was too much and Atavus couldn't even find his voice to call for help. He watched as the Goblin Butcher was about to keep its namesake.

It raised its arm; the blunt sword already had the blood on it drying under the Vulkrum sun.

It gleamed once off of the liquid.

It swung down.

Atavus closed his eyes.

_CLANG!_

It took a few moments to register that Atavus was still alive. He peeked through his eyelids to see another dark figure silhouetted above him. Once he opened them fully, he cried out in surprise.

"Miraa!"

The Mithra grit her teeth at keeping her shield above the White Mage. "Atavus, get the others, okay? I can handle this myself."

Atavus rolled out from underneath the two as Miraa let slip the blade off her shield. With the goblin off-balance, the Paladin swung her arm back, Shield Bashing the Goblin Butcher across its face and throwing it on its rump.

"No one takes out my party." She growled, "ESPECIALLY when we're trying to find some catnip."

The goblin shook its head and gruffed in its own voice. It probably said a bad word, but it didn't matter; the showdown was on: Paladin vs. Butcher.

The two eyed each other and slowly shifted around in a circle. The sun was at its twilight in the sky, casting an orange and purple hue across the sands that slowly fell to the ground as the Mithra struck out at the Butcher. Her sword kept vibrating from the strength of the clashing and it used a lot of her power just to keep from her bones jarring apart.

She blocked another swipe from the goblin's sword and parried with her own. The goblin merely used its own iron armor as a shield and took the blow on its arm before twisting it around and grabbing the steel of Miraa's sword. Her eyes bugged as she was tugged forward, off balance and shield fallen to the side. The Butcher didn't hesitate to pierce in-between her shoulder armor, creating a bloody hole in her shield arm.

Miraa grimaced, her fangs largely bared in an effort to affront her pain with determination. Deciding to copy her foe at his own game, she tugged at its sword with her free hand and tore it loose from the goblin's grip while letting it take her own sword for a weapon. Her hand was shredded from the blade and blood was pooling freely in her armor and down her arm.

The two combatants jumped back to make room and catch a breath. The Mithra quickly stuck the sword in the sand and summoned the light in her injured hand, healing it to the point where it was starting to scab over. She then clapped her hands together, transferring the cure spell to her other hand and then gripped her injured arm. She didn't need it to be fully healed, just enough so that it wouldn't be a danger to blood loss anytime soon. Plus, since Paladin's magic are not as effective as it would be with a White Mage, it took up more energy to fully cure a wound, thus letting the light bringer's to only heal a portion of a wound so they can endure the rest of the fight.

Miraa took the sword out of the sand and pointed at the Goblin, speaking no words. She then turned to stance comfortably; crouching with her left hand out in front of her for balance and her right hand back for power. The Butcher took the provoke and charged. Miraa changed tactics from defense to finesse, slouching down and kicking the goblin in the face. It being momentarily stunned, she hopped to one side and dealt a series of small blows to the goblin's chest and neck region before jumping back to avoid a counter-attack.

She went back to her stance again and awaited the next attack. The Butcher huffed a couple of times and took a few steps forward as if to charge but hesitated for a moment. It shook its head and grunted, backing away a few steps. The cuts and scrapes she dealt it did no major damage, but as the monster's armor cut into the wounds, it would open up the flesh even more. It had no choice but to take off its helm, revealing a bulbous nose and beady black eyes.

"Everyone! Now!" Miraa cried out.

The Goblin Butcher only tilted its head in confusion before realizing it was an ambush. Suddenly flames shot into its eyes, searing it from seeing as claws from a Dragoon threatened to cut off its ears. Blows from an indiscernible source of power stuck him again and again while a pronged weapon pried it of the rest of its armor.

Finally, as if to end the torture, a pain exploded in its stomach. It only hurt for a moment before its body went numb and its legs collapsed underneath itself, creating the illusion it was a mere puppet that had its strings cut.

The group around it released a heavy sigh.

"That was more trouble than it was worth." Bria said.

"Well, at least we got some experience on fighting goblins today. I know for sure we won't make the same mistake again." Alesha crossed her arms and nodded.

Nickster was inspecting his Wyvern for any signs of injury while Miraa playfully pawed Atavus away from her wounds.

"Hey guys," The Paladin started, "I don't think it dropped catnip…"

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END!

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